I am meeting with Dr. B to discuss the next steps tomorrow….surgery. The thought of surgery is scary and overwhelming. The anxiety of being cut while laying on a table unable to control anything takes hold of me frequently. The more I think about it, I realize how primitive and invasive surgery can be. It is true that you are asleep and don't remember the procedure, but at the same time you are left with a scar (in my case a rather large one!) that serves as a daily reminder of your battle (and hopefully, your victory.)
There is no such thing as a simple surgery or two surgeries that are the same. Complications always occur during surgery and these cannot be anticipated. My surgery will be especially complex because it involves the abdominal cavity. I have faith in the 45 years of experience that Dr. B has acquired but I feel my vulnerabilities at the same time. Will I have a reaction to the anaesthesia? Will the team of doctors be able to identify the entire growth area? Will I need a transfusion during surgery? What will they need to remove?
At this point, surgery is my only option and I must believe in my body’s capacity to heal. After all, it is not the surgery that is the problem. It’s the cancer.
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My surgery was 12 hours long and it was a tough recovery but you DO heal. I do remember waking up knowing that tumor was out of me, and that was what kept me going. Well, that and the morphine. ha! It's not going to be easy but it's another step in the battle to get rid of this cancer, you will be ok, be strong <3
ReplyDeleteLindsay
My Dad felt better than he had in years, just days after his heart surgery (even though right afterward the same day he whispered to me that he never wanted to go through that ever again).
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind that your TON of close friends, family and I will be there to help you at every step of your recovery process with anything you need or want.