Monday, April 27, 2009
Thh Great News
I met with the doctor today to discuss my final (and long awaited) pathology report. The news could not have been better. The tumors that were removed were benign AND due to the type of tissue/cell make up of the tumors it is highly unlikely that they will grow back. I am sooooo happy. If I could have done it, I would have jumped for joy when they told me, except NO JUMPING is allowed :) All is good...did I mention that I am sooooo happy?
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Special Gift and City Garden
Recovery is a bit like a dance – two steps forward and one step back. When I have a good day I want to take advantage of it and I over do it. The next day I spend recovering from the previous day. It is amazing how tired the little things in life can make you. Just getting out of bed or talking on the phone can make me exhausted. The good news is that today should be a great day (since yesterday was a very painful day.) This will give me the opportunity to learn how to pace myself.
Everyone has a special gift. Really, we all do. Think about yours. My friend Laura’s special gift is making plants grow. Laura lives in Washington, DC and will be visiting me this weekend to create a pot garden on my patio. I am really looking forward to having a bit of a green oasis in the concrete jungle. Last year, I was able to grow a variety of herbs, tomatoes, peppers and strawberries (I really impressed Christopher when we first started dating and I made him salsa from my NYC vegetable pot garden). This year I hope to have some herbs and vegetables, but I would also like to focus on color (flowers.) Living in a four story walk-up during recovery is challenging and having a patio is a treat when you are limited on leaving the house. The patio will be my little color oasis.
By the way, so far I have been very lucky to have my indoor garden with all the get well flowers that I have received. Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes, thoughts, prayers, cards, books and flowers. They might be small gestures, but they have a large impact!
Everyone has a special gift. Really, we all do. Think about yours. My friend Laura’s special gift is making plants grow. Laura lives in Washington, DC and will be visiting me this weekend to create a pot garden on my patio. I am really looking forward to having a bit of a green oasis in the concrete jungle. Last year, I was able to grow a variety of herbs, tomatoes, peppers and strawberries (I really impressed Christopher when we first started dating and I made him salsa from my NYC vegetable pot garden). This year I hope to have some herbs and vegetables, but I would also like to focus on color (flowers.) Living in a four story walk-up during recovery is challenging and having a patio is a treat when you are limited on leaving the house. The patio will be my little color oasis.
By the way, so far I have been very lucky to have my indoor garden with all the get well flowers that I have received. Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes, thoughts, prayers, cards, books and flowers. They might be small gestures, but they have a large impact!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The Turtle
I have become a turtle and I really don’t mind. Moving slowly with no haste or jump in my step and letting my body recover at its own pace. It’s hard to believe that last week at this time I had one of the worst days in my life. I was hooked up to oxygen and numerous IVs. No matter how often I pushed “the button” the pain would not go away and in the end they added extra cocktails. The thought of me sitting up, walking or eating seemed so far away. Eight days later I can walk almost 2 blocks, eat regular foods and almost get myself dressed. I feel my body healing a little from the inside everyday, like my spirit is filling the spot that was left behind from where the tumor was removed. It’s a feeling that is hard for me to describe – it brings me contentment and peace.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Operation
I am home and glad that everything went better than I or anyone expected. In spite of that, I am having a rough time as I am experiencing a significant amount of pain at the site where the tumor was removed. I have a draining device attached to my abdomen. For three months I was told that I had a life threatening illness. My focus became a search for the best medical care and getting healthy again. It was very consuming, just like a busy job with lots of over time. When Christopher first told me the wonderful news while I was recovering in the operating room, it did not sink in that Dr. B had not removed my kidney. It took me about three to four days to be able to ask the doctors about it and I still don’t believe that I have a full understanding of it all-–I was prepared for anything and everything and willing to do whatever it took. It will take some time for my mind to catch up with reality.
The lab results have not been finalized. I worry about the growth coming back and the operation having to be repeated. Most of us have seen operating rooms dozens of times on TV. Usually it is a good drama with a very good looking doctor (I did have that!) and just like all things Hollywood you know that everything is going to be OK in the end. Plus, you are removed from the situation--after all, it's just a TV drama.
When I walked into the operating room for the surgery, my body filled with angst. I remember coming to a sudden stop when the doors opened to the operating room and looking for an exit that I could run to. I calmed myself down and envisioned that Hollywood ending. However, the noise of the metal instruments, the nurses and doctors (over a dozen), lots of medical devices and the operating table provided a reality check and took my thoughts far away from Hollywood. I was directed toward the operating table and asked to lie down. I now wish I had been placed on a stretcher and wheeled into place. Walking to that operating table and having to stretch out under the lights felt too much like an offering. The next 30 minutes became even more stressful when three nurses started to hook me up to numerous devices. Space-age blankets were draped over my body to ensure that I would retain my body temperature. I wanted to cry. That was when the cocktail kicked in and my memory stopped.
The lab results have not been finalized. I worry about the growth coming back and the operation having to be repeated. Most of us have seen operating rooms dozens of times on TV. Usually it is a good drama with a very good looking doctor (I did have that!) and just like all things Hollywood you know that everything is going to be OK in the end. Plus, you are removed from the situation--after all, it's just a TV drama.
When I walked into the operating room for the surgery, my body filled with angst. I remember coming to a sudden stop when the doors opened to the operating room and looking for an exit that I could run to. I calmed myself down and envisioned that Hollywood ending. However, the noise of the metal instruments, the nurses and doctors (over a dozen), lots of medical devices and the operating table provided a reality check and took my thoughts far away from Hollywood. I was directed toward the operating table and asked to lie down. I now wish I had been placed on a stretcher and wheeled into place. Walking to that operating table and having to stretch out under the lights felt too much like an offering. The next 30 minutes became even more stressful when three nurses started to hook me up to numerous devices. Space-age blankets were draped over my body to ensure that I would retain my body temperature. I wanted to cry. That was when the cocktail kicked in and my memory stopped.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Update: 72 hours later
Carolina had a rough night last night and is exhausted today.
Therefore, we ask that there be no visitors until she can get some much needed rest.
She's hanging in there though, healing one step at a time.
Thanks for your understanding, support and love,
Christopher - 917.435.9850
Therefore, we ask that there be no visitors until she can get some much needed rest.
She's hanging in there though, healing one step at a time.
Thanks for your understanding, support and love,
Christopher - 917.435.9850
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Update: 24 hours later
A little more than 24 hours after the surgery and Carolina is doing very well.
This morning before dawn she was standing up almost on her own and today she's been walking around a little and even attended a class at the recovery rec center.
I've gotten a lot of calls asking for room number, visiting hours and room phone number, so here is the summary:
Carolina Asirifi
Recovery Room 1532B
Sloan Memorial Kettering (212-639-2000)
1275 York Ave, 15th Floor
(between 68th and 69th)
We were told that visiting hours are from 8am to 8pm, and that she should only have 2 visitors at a time - but they have not been strict about it.
Also note that I tried calling her room just now through the Hospital's main number, but I was told that no one in the room picked up, even though I know it rung, so maybe phone calls aren't available until a few days later when she can take calls on her cell phone.
Other than that, again call me with any questions / well wishes, etc and I'll relay them to her when I can.
And thank you all sooooo much for all the calls, emails, comments and all around incredibly supportive energy.
Carolina is blessed in so many ways,
Christopher
This morning before dawn she was standing up almost on her own and today she's been walking around a little and even attended a class at the recovery rec center.
I've gotten a lot of calls asking for room number, visiting hours and room phone number, so here is the summary:
Carolina Asirifi
Recovery Room 1532B
Sloan Memorial Kettering (212-639-2000)
1275 York Ave, 15th Floor
(between 68th and 69th)
We were told that visiting hours are from 8am to 8pm, and that she should only have 2 visitors at a time - but they have not been strict about it.
Also note that I tried calling her room just now through the Hospital's main number, but I was told that no one in the room picked up, even though I know it rung, so maybe phone calls aren't available until a few days later when she can take calls on her cell phone.
Other than that, again call me with any questions / well wishes, etc and I'll relay them to her when I can.
And thank you all sooooo much for all the calls, emails, comments and all around incredibly supportive energy.
Carolina is blessed in so many ways,
Christopher
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Great News!
Dr. B rocks!
It turned out much better than any of us expected!
Dr. Brennan just explained that he believes he removed ALL of the growth AND that he is 95% certain it was all BENIGN!!
On top of that already great news, he ALSO never had to remove the kidney - which we didn't expect at all!
Next steps...
Carolina will most likely remain in the Hospital for another 5 or 6 days overall. Within 2-3 days we should get a final read back from pathology that we believe will exhibit almost 100% certainty.
This will determine the next steps, i.e. radiation, chemotherapy, or ?.
But as of now - it seems that no other treatment will be needed aside from recovering and living a happy productive life!!!
As Carolina would say - Wooooo Hooooooooooo!
Sigh,
Christopher
It turned out much better than any of us expected!
Dr. Brennan just explained that he believes he removed ALL of the growth AND that he is 95% certain it was all BENIGN!!
On top of that already great news, he ALSO never had to remove the kidney - which we didn't expect at all!
Next steps...
Carolina will most likely remain in the Hospital for another 5 or 6 days overall. Within 2-3 days we should get a final read back from pathology that we believe will exhibit almost 100% certainty.
This will determine the next steps, i.e. radiation, chemotherapy, or ?.
But as of now - it seems that no other treatment will be needed aside from recovering and living a happy productive life!!!
As Carolina would say - Wooooo Hooooooooooo!
Sigh,
Christopher
Tuesday Morning
Carolina said her "see-ya-laters" and left for the OR a few minutes ago, feeling great and cracking jokes the whole time.I'm very proud of her.
She should be done by Noon-ish, so I'm aiming to update with a post once the procedure is all done.
Feel free to call or text me with any questions, concerns, etc.
Christopher - 917.435.9850
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The Amazing Kidney
I never knew how I would react to knowing that the surgery was definite. I didn’t really take my previous surgery date seriously as I knew that I was going for a second opinion and most likely the first surgery would be cancelled. Now I am two days away and I feel very relieved. It’s been eleven long weeks and I am ready to return to my normal activities – running, cooking, exploring NYC, and hanging out with friends.
The real test will be about four days after the surgery when the doctors will have a better understanding about my tumor cells and type. The hope is that this surgery is all that I need. However, there is a possibility that I might need chemotherapy and/or radiation. Right now I am just happy to get the growth out of me and have my other kidney take over the job for the one that will be removed.
Come to think of it, the kidney gets little respect, even though it works 24/7 to eliminate all those toxins that accumulate in our bodies. Scientists don’t really know why the majority of us are born with two kidneys when we only need one (we actually only need 2/3 of one to work and 1 out of 750 people are born with 1 kidney.) I am grateful for having that second kidney and think that it would be awesome if we had backups for all our organs. I am amazed that my remaining kidney will increase in size by as much as 40% to perform the extra work and happy to know that by all indications living with one kidney is no different from living with two, with the exception of participating in contact sports. Luckily, I never wrestled much and my college flag football days are long gone.
The real test will be about four days after the surgery when the doctors will have a better understanding about my tumor cells and type. The hope is that this surgery is all that I need. However, there is a possibility that I might need chemotherapy and/or radiation. Right now I am just happy to get the growth out of me and have my other kidney take over the job for the one that will be removed.
Come to think of it, the kidney gets little respect, even though it works 24/7 to eliminate all those toxins that accumulate in our bodies. Scientists don’t really know why the majority of us are born with two kidneys when we only need one (we actually only need 2/3 of one to work and 1 out of 750 people are born with 1 kidney.) I am grateful for having that second kidney and think that it would be awesome if we had backups for all our organs. I am amazed that my remaining kidney will increase in size by as much as 40% to perform the extra work and happy to know that by all indications living with one kidney is no different from living with two, with the exception of participating in contact sports. Luckily, I never wrestled much and my college flag football days are long gone.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Looking for Familiar and/or Funny Faces While in the Hospital
Surgery is scheduled for Tuesday and I am nervous and relieved at the same time. The surgery will take about 6 – 8 hours and I am expected to be in the hospital for about a week. I would love to see as many familiar faces as possible while I am in the hospital and recovering at home. Please feel free to visit me in the hospital or send me a funny picture of yourself that I can hang in my hotel room. After all, laughter is the best medicine.
To get you started here is a sample picture...(notice the Livestrong bracelet on my left arm).
To get you started here is a sample picture...(notice the Livestrong bracelet on my left arm).
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Next Steps
I am meeting with Dr. B to discuss the next steps tomorrow….surgery. The thought of surgery is scary and overwhelming. The anxiety of being cut while laying on a table unable to control anything takes hold of me frequently. The more I think about it, I realize how primitive and invasive surgery can be. It is true that you are asleep and don't remember the procedure, but at the same time you are left with a scar (in my case a rather large one!) that serves as a daily reminder of your battle (and hopefully, your victory.)
There is no such thing as a simple surgery or two surgeries that are the same. Complications always occur during surgery and these cannot be anticipated. My surgery will be especially complex because it involves the abdominal cavity. I have faith in the 45 years of experience that Dr. B has acquired but I feel my vulnerabilities at the same time. Will I have a reaction to the anaesthesia? Will the team of doctors be able to identify the entire growth area? Will I need a transfusion during surgery? What will they need to remove?
At this point, surgery is my only option and I must believe in my body’s capacity to heal. After all, it is not the surgery that is the problem. It’s the cancer.
There is no such thing as a simple surgery or two surgeries that are the same. Complications always occur during surgery and these cannot be anticipated. My surgery will be especially complex because it involves the abdominal cavity. I have faith in the 45 years of experience that Dr. B has acquired but I feel my vulnerabilities at the same time. Will I have a reaction to the anaesthesia? Will the team of doctors be able to identify the entire growth area? Will I need a transfusion during surgery? What will they need to remove?
At this point, surgery is my only option and I must believe in my body’s capacity to heal. After all, it is not the surgery that is the problem. It’s the cancer.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
From Hell to Rum Point in Grand Cayman
There is something unique about snorkeling and diving. When you enter the water you forget about everything and a new universe is opened to you. Your mind stops racing with all the usual random thoughts and you become completely focused on your breathing and the surreal underwater life. The time just stops while your senses are sharpened. Color is more vivid and life is there to simply experience--even the fish and coral are more alive. That is exactly how we felt in Grand Cayman.
The time just stopped or maybe we just stopped caring about the time. For four days Christopher and I did not realize that Grand Cayman is one hour behind New York. One day when we noticed that his watch was an hour ahead we simply dismissed it--the watch must have broken! This place is so beautiful and full of crystal clear green and blue water. The people are the biggest asset of this island. Never in my travels have I met more friendly or generous people.
Upon entering the Grand Cayman we had to go through the usual immigration and custom routine. The Immigration officer was young and looked like he knew how to have fun. I couldn’t let this opportunity go by as I wanted to know what the locals do on the island. He told me about a place called Mango Tree. After dropping our bags at the hotel we headed directly to Mango Tree. There must have been about 200 people outside the restaurant and only about 4 people inside it. We soon learned most local believe that the island is too beautiful to eat a meal inside so they just create their own space outside. We had the best jerk chicken and pork (ever) at this place for only $10.
Since this is a local spot, taxis are not easy to find in this area and we did not have a number for a cab. As we were exiting we spotted a woman and asked her about cabs. She informed us that cabs do not usually come this way and that she did not have a cell phone to call one. She was very sorry. We said alright and started to walk away only to be called right back by her. She ran into a friend who had a cell phone and had called a cab for us. While we waited for the cab we stuck up a conversation with the chef of Mango Tree. We talked to him for about 30 minutes while we waited for the cab (that never arrived.) The chef invited us to jump into his car and offered to take us back to our hotel.
The next day I woke up at 7:30 am and headed to the beach where I stayed for the next 12 hours. I had a blast. I never like to sit around and do nothing. It must have been a sign of my exhaustion as all I wanted to do was to alternate between going snorkeling and sitting in my beach chair reading my book.
When I looked into the mirror that evening I didn’t recognize myself as I was about 10 shades darker. I knew that I was forgetting something – the sunscreen. The pain was now settling in from my sunburn and Christopher (who looked like a lobster) ran down to the store to pick up some cooling gel and sunscreen. Once we applied the cooling gel we were good to go to our first seaside dinner at Casanova Restaurant.
I knew that the next day we would have to limit our sun exposure. This was a perfect excuse to go to Hell and explore the rest of the island. Hell is a place on Grand Cayman Island that is known for its black pointed rocks. We rented a car and on Sunday morning headed to Hell. We explored the place and send post cards to our friends from Hell.
The next stop was Rum Point. We weren’t sure what exactly it was but we wanted to go all around the island and Rum Point was at the very end. Rum Point had phenomenal snorkeling. Every color of fish is there, we even spotted a sting ray and her pup. Words could not describe this experience. Rum Point is located in a remote spot and caters to a local crowd. It is also a place filled with yachts and beautiful people so Christopher and I blended in great. We watched the sunset from Rum Point that evening before we headed to Over the Edge Restaurant our next seaside dining experience. There we tried another local specialty, Conch Fritters.
Since we still had the rental car Christopher got the idea that we should go watch the sunrise. With map in hand we determined that we would need to go to the other side of the island to watch the sun rise. We were not familiar with the other side of the island and the roads were not well marked. We ended up at the landfill. It didn’t matter as we had a wonderful time watching the sunrise right there.
On our last full day in Cayman we had booked an excursion to Sand Bar (which is filled with sting rays) and the reefs for snorkeling. The hour ride on the catamaran was fantastic. The color of the Caribbean sea is rich with clear hues of green and blue, giving you visibility for about 100 feet in the water. Later that evening Christopher took me for a delicious meal at the The Wharf, giving us one more opportunity to eat seaside under the stars.
The time just stopped or maybe we just stopped caring about the time. For four days Christopher and I did not realize that Grand Cayman is one hour behind New York. One day when we noticed that his watch was an hour ahead we simply dismissed it--the watch must have broken! This place is so beautiful and full of crystal clear green and blue water. The people are the biggest asset of this island. Never in my travels have I met more friendly or generous people.
Upon entering the Grand Cayman we had to go through the usual immigration and custom routine. The Immigration officer was young and looked like he knew how to have fun. I couldn’t let this opportunity go by as I wanted to know what the locals do on the island. He told me about a place called Mango Tree. After dropping our bags at the hotel we headed directly to Mango Tree. There must have been about 200 people outside the restaurant and only about 4 people inside it. We soon learned most local believe that the island is too beautiful to eat a meal inside so they just create their own space outside. We had the best jerk chicken and pork (ever) at this place for only $10.
Since this is a local spot, taxis are not easy to find in this area and we did not have a number for a cab. As we were exiting we spotted a woman and asked her about cabs. She informed us that cabs do not usually come this way and that she did not have a cell phone to call one. She was very sorry. We said alright and started to walk away only to be called right back by her. She ran into a friend who had a cell phone and had called a cab for us. While we waited for the cab we stuck up a conversation with the chef of Mango Tree. We talked to him for about 30 minutes while we waited for the cab (that never arrived.) The chef invited us to jump into his car and offered to take us back to our hotel.
The next day I woke up at 7:30 am and headed to the beach where I stayed for the next 12 hours. I had a blast. I never like to sit around and do nothing. It must have been a sign of my exhaustion as all I wanted to do was to alternate between going snorkeling and sitting in my beach chair reading my book.
When I looked into the mirror that evening I didn’t recognize myself as I was about 10 shades darker. I knew that I was forgetting something – the sunscreen. The pain was now settling in from my sunburn and Christopher (who looked like a lobster) ran down to the store to pick up some cooling gel and sunscreen. Once we applied the cooling gel we were good to go to our first seaside dinner at Casanova Restaurant.
I knew that the next day we would have to limit our sun exposure. This was a perfect excuse to go to Hell and explore the rest of the island. Hell is a place on Grand Cayman Island that is known for its black pointed rocks. We rented a car and on Sunday morning headed to Hell. We explored the place and send post cards to our friends from Hell.
The next stop was Rum Point. We weren’t sure what exactly it was but we wanted to go all around the island and Rum Point was at the very end. Rum Point had phenomenal snorkeling. Every color of fish is there, we even spotted a sting ray and her pup. Words could not describe this experience. Rum Point is located in a remote spot and caters to a local crowd. It is also a place filled with yachts and beautiful people so Christopher and I blended in great. We watched the sunset from Rum Point that evening before we headed to Over the Edge Restaurant our next seaside dining experience. There we tried another local specialty, Conch Fritters.
Since we still had the rental car Christopher got the idea that we should go watch the sunrise. With map in hand we determined that we would need to go to the other side of the island to watch the sun rise. We were not familiar with the other side of the island and the roads were not well marked. We ended up at the landfill. It didn’t matter as we had a wonderful time watching the sunrise right there.
On our last full day in Cayman we had booked an excursion to Sand Bar (which is filled with sting rays) and the reefs for snorkeling. The hour ride on the catamaran was fantastic. The color of the Caribbean sea is rich with clear hues of green and blue, giving you visibility for about 100 feet in the water. Later that evening Christopher took me for a delicious meal at the The Wharf, giving us one more opportunity to eat seaside under the stars.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
This is no April Fool's I am Head to the Cayman Islands
I am headed to the Grand Cayman Island this weekend – this is no April Fool’s joke. The last few days have been very tough for me. The unsuccessful biopsy really affected me. I need to get away and focus on something else besides doctor schedules and visits. Actually, I just need to forget and remember what it felt like to not have this big question mark hanging over my head.
I scraped together all my travel reward points and I am leaving early on Friday for Grand Cayman Island. I can’t wait and I can’t believe that I was able to arrange it on such short notice. I can taste the (virgin) umbrella drink and feel the sun on my face.
I scraped together all my travel reward points and I am leaving early on Friday for Grand Cayman Island. I can’t wait and I can’t believe that I was able to arrange it on such short notice. I can taste the (virgin) umbrella drink and feel the sun on my face.
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