This is a big day for me. Today was the first day in about 4 weeks that I was able to wear my regular clothes AND take the subway all by myself to a doctor’s appointment. Writing these words makes me feel like I am a 5 year old; however, for me these are some delightful accomplishments. Think about it…NYC Subway (the crowds, the stairs, the crowds, the humid air, and the crowds) all on my own. If you can survive the subway you can really survive anything! There was a song about surviving in NYC (not the subway, but NYC.) If you can make it here you can make it anywhere. I believe that is the line, but then I am getting off topic.
The incision on my stomach is about 12 inches long. It is healing better than I expected. The part that I did not expect is all the wavy parts on my stomach. No one ever tells you this stuff. I was so focused on the incision that would be left as a reminder that I never imagined the shape of my stomach would change. Rather than being a half dome like most people’s, MY stomach is more of a triangle. They just don’t make clothes for triangular stomachs. Since the incision is still healing, it is very sensitive to touch and presents a challenge when I attempt to wear regular clothes instead of my workout clothes. My doctors are trying to reassure me that both of these things will change over time. The question is in how much time?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
I Am Back On The World Wide Web
I am back. My computer power adapter broke last week and I finally got a new one in the mail. It is so strange to be without a computer, I really don’t know how I survived. Good thing one of my girlfriends from my college days came to NYC for a visit. We had a great time doing absolutely nothing for three days.
It’s been raining in NYC for about 3 to 4 days and it is supposed to rain another week. I have to figure out how I can continue with my daily walks with this weather. I been making slow but steady progress and I can now walk about 6 blocks before I need a rest! My energy level is also improving. So, everything is headed in the right direction. Now if we could just get some sunshine for the plants that we planted on the patio. I will post some pictures of the patio as soon as the sun gives me an opportunity to take some.
It’s been raining in NYC for about 3 to 4 days and it is supposed to rain another week. I have to figure out how I can continue with my daily walks with this weather. I been making slow but steady progress and I can now walk about 6 blocks before I need a rest! My energy level is also improving. So, everything is headed in the right direction. Now if we could just get some sunshine for the plants that we planted on the patio. I will post some pictures of the patio as soon as the sun gives me an opportunity to take some.
I Am Back On The World Wide Web
I am back. My computer power adapter broke last week and I finally got a new one in the mail. It is so strange to be without a computer, I really don’t know how I survived. Good thing one of my girlfriends from my college days came to NYC for a visit. We had a great time doing absolutely nothing for three days.
It’s been raining in NYC for about 3 to 4 days and it is suppose to rain another week. I have to figure out how I can continue with my daily walks with this weather. I been making slow but steady progress and I can now walk about 6 blocks before I need a rest! My energy level is also improving. So, everything is headed in the right direction. Now if we could just get some sunshine for the plants that we planted on the patio. I will post some pictures of the patio as soon as the sun gives me an opportunity to take some.
It’s been raining in NYC for about 3 to 4 days and it is suppose to rain another week. I have to figure out how I can continue with my daily walks with this weather. I been making slow but steady progress and I can now walk about 6 blocks before I need a rest! My energy level is also improving. So, everything is headed in the right direction. Now if we could just get some sunshine for the plants that we planted on the patio. I will post some pictures of the patio as soon as the sun gives me an opportunity to take some.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thh Great News
I met with the doctor today to discuss my final (and long awaited) pathology report. The news could not have been better. The tumors that were removed were benign AND due to the type of tissue/cell make up of the tumors it is highly unlikely that they will grow back. I am sooooo happy. If I could have done it, I would have jumped for joy when they told me, except NO JUMPING is allowed :) All is good...did I mention that I am sooooo happy?
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Special Gift and City Garden
Recovery is a bit like a dance – two steps forward and one step back. When I have a good day I want to take advantage of it and I over do it. The next day I spend recovering from the previous day. It is amazing how tired the little things in life can make you. Just getting out of bed or talking on the phone can make me exhausted. The good news is that today should be a great day (since yesterday was a very painful day.) This will give me the opportunity to learn how to pace myself.
Everyone has a special gift. Really, we all do. Think about yours. My friend Laura’s special gift is making plants grow. Laura lives in Washington, DC and will be visiting me this weekend to create a pot garden on my patio. I am really looking forward to having a bit of a green oasis in the concrete jungle. Last year, I was able to grow a variety of herbs, tomatoes, peppers and strawberries (I really impressed Christopher when we first started dating and I made him salsa from my NYC vegetable pot garden). This year I hope to have some herbs and vegetables, but I would also like to focus on color (flowers.) Living in a four story walk-up during recovery is challenging and having a patio is a treat when you are limited on leaving the house. The patio will be my little color oasis.
By the way, so far I have been very lucky to have my indoor garden with all the get well flowers that I have received. Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes, thoughts, prayers, cards, books and flowers. They might be small gestures, but they have a large impact!
Everyone has a special gift. Really, we all do. Think about yours. My friend Laura’s special gift is making plants grow. Laura lives in Washington, DC and will be visiting me this weekend to create a pot garden on my patio. I am really looking forward to having a bit of a green oasis in the concrete jungle. Last year, I was able to grow a variety of herbs, tomatoes, peppers and strawberries (I really impressed Christopher when we first started dating and I made him salsa from my NYC vegetable pot garden). This year I hope to have some herbs and vegetables, but I would also like to focus on color (flowers.) Living in a four story walk-up during recovery is challenging and having a patio is a treat when you are limited on leaving the house. The patio will be my little color oasis.
By the way, so far I have been very lucky to have my indoor garden with all the get well flowers that I have received. Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes, thoughts, prayers, cards, books and flowers. They might be small gestures, but they have a large impact!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The Turtle
I have become a turtle and I really don’t mind. Moving slowly with no haste or jump in my step and letting my body recover at its own pace. It’s hard to believe that last week at this time I had one of the worst days in my life. I was hooked up to oxygen and numerous IVs. No matter how often I pushed “the button” the pain would not go away and in the end they added extra cocktails. The thought of me sitting up, walking or eating seemed so far away. Eight days later I can walk almost 2 blocks, eat regular foods and almost get myself dressed. I feel my body healing a little from the inside everyday, like my spirit is filling the spot that was left behind from where the tumor was removed. It’s a feeling that is hard for me to describe – it brings me contentment and peace.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Operation
I am home and glad that everything went better than I or anyone expected. In spite of that, I am having a rough time as I am experiencing a significant amount of pain at the site where the tumor was removed. I have a draining device attached to my abdomen. For three months I was told that I had a life threatening illness. My focus became a search for the best medical care and getting healthy again. It was very consuming, just like a busy job with lots of over time. When Christopher first told me the wonderful news while I was recovering in the operating room, it did not sink in that Dr. B had not removed my kidney. It took me about three to four days to be able to ask the doctors about it and I still don’t believe that I have a full understanding of it all-–I was prepared for anything and everything and willing to do whatever it took. It will take some time for my mind to catch up with reality.
The lab results have not been finalized. I worry about the growth coming back and the operation having to be repeated. Most of us have seen operating rooms dozens of times on TV. Usually it is a good drama with a very good looking doctor (I did have that!) and just like all things Hollywood you know that everything is going to be OK in the end. Plus, you are removed from the situation--after all, it's just a TV drama.
When I walked into the operating room for the surgery, my body filled with angst. I remember coming to a sudden stop when the doors opened to the operating room and looking for an exit that I could run to. I calmed myself down and envisioned that Hollywood ending. However, the noise of the metal instruments, the nurses and doctors (over a dozen), lots of medical devices and the operating table provided a reality check and took my thoughts far away from Hollywood. I was directed toward the operating table and asked to lie down. I now wish I had been placed on a stretcher and wheeled into place. Walking to that operating table and having to stretch out under the lights felt too much like an offering. The next 30 minutes became even more stressful when three nurses started to hook me up to numerous devices. Space-age blankets were draped over my body to ensure that I would retain my body temperature. I wanted to cry. That was when the cocktail kicked in and my memory stopped.
The lab results have not been finalized. I worry about the growth coming back and the operation having to be repeated. Most of us have seen operating rooms dozens of times on TV. Usually it is a good drama with a very good looking doctor (I did have that!) and just like all things Hollywood you know that everything is going to be OK in the end. Plus, you are removed from the situation--after all, it's just a TV drama.
When I walked into the operating room for the surgery, my body filled with angst. I remember coming to a sudden stop when the doors opened to the operating room and looking for an exit that I could run to. I calmed myself down and envisioned that Hollywood ending. However, the noise of the metal instruments, the nurses and doctors (over a dozen), lots of medical devices and the operating table provided a reality check and took my thoughts far away from Hollywood. I was directed toward the operating table and asked to lie down. I now wish I had been placed on a stretcher and wheeled into place. Walking to that operating table and having to stretch out under the lights felt too much like an offering. The next 30 minutes became even more stressful when three nurses started to hook me up to numerous devices. Space-age blankets were draped over my body to ensure that I would retain my body temperature. I wanted to cry. That was when the cocktail kicked in and my memory stopped.
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